The 5 Most Dangerous and Frustrating Jobs to have in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Having a job can be the ultimate lifesaver, but maybe not so much in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Here are 5 of the worst jobs for the mortals among gods, so to speak, in the MCU. To narrow things down, I will be checking out jobs that could exist in the Cinematic universe (where everyone is still adjusting to web-slinging weirdos and alien invasions) rather than the more established Comic universe (where people are already accustomed to advanced and even alien technology).

5lawyers

Injury Claims Lawyer – Tackling this branch of the law may not be the wisest idea, especially since superheroes and supervillains tend to ignore their subpoenas. You’re better off as an insurance agent, since Acts of God (as super-powered beings normally are) are often not covered in policies, making rejecting multi-million dollar claims a whole lot easier.

4survivors

Search, Rescue and Recovery – A physically and psychologically taxing job that requires you to search for survivors, take them out of the danger zone, and save their lives. But with super-powered jerks blowing things up, toppling skyscrapers or even lifting whole cities, this job is next to impossible. You would have to wait for all the dust to settle before listening to the cries of the desperate and the dying as you try to dig them out of the rubble and send them to makeshift hospitals.  Naturally, these happen conveniently off-screen or when the plot requires their emotional presence. Meanwhile, try getting some sleep without hearing their dying screams in your dreams.

3cops

Any Law Enforcement Agency – Being a cop is one of the most dangerous occupations to ever have in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. A regular cop with a regular gun against a not-so-regular superhuman is a death sentence… or if you’re lucky, a month’s leave recuperating in a hospital.  So, unless police wages have been updated to include hazard pay and bonuses proportional to the super-powered crooks and invading aliens that you have to deal with, then consider yourself on the losing end.

2military

Any Military Unit – When a demented giant sentient robot is in town, who will you call? If you don’t have the Avengers on speed dial, it will most likely be your reliable G.I. Joes. They come with tanks, airplanes, helicopters and machine guns–impressive, yes, but hardly effective against evil behemoths of mass destruction. And sadly, they are usually just a nice warm-up for the bad guys before said baddies eventually take on the Big Guns like the Avengers. Makes me wonder why the Big Guns can’t go first and let the Little Guns do mop up for a change.  And speaking of mop up…

1cleanup

The Clean-up Crew – Toppled skyscraper? Fallen Helicarrier? No problem! Let me just get my handy-dandy broom so I can sweep and clean the tons of debris lying around the city! Oh, and the mayor wants it done within 24 hours, in time for the Avengers’ “Thanks for saving our city!” parade?  Well, f*ck you then! Let those heroes clean up their own goddamn mess for a change!!!

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